Trip Back Home
by TerraceBerceau
Summary: Marceline's sick day goes from bad to worse when her cure and best friend are taken for ransom. Unapologetically Bubbline with a setting between seasons 7 and 8.
1. Chapter 1

My eyes are puffier than the fluffiest pastries. I'm cold, hot, cold, sweaty, cold and sweaty, and then boiling for hours at a time. It's here. It's back.

I recognize Vampire cold anywhere. The symptoms are unmistakable. A bad case of vampire cold can kill us, though only vampires are susceptible. It can last from a week to a month or longer, and there is only one known cure.

"Hey Marcy. Heard you're feeling gross." Jake announces as he stomps into my room and throws a flimsy box of tissue at me with one extended hand. His other is in the shape of a mask over his mouth. "Finn asked me to bring these for you."

It's a sweet gesture, so I can't help but smile a little as I take one out and give a honk. I try to whisper thanks, but the gunk in my throat doesn't let me.

"Whoa, that's a super gross sound. What's the matter with you? A cold?"

"Vampire c-cold." I sniff. "The worst kind. Can't sing. Can't jam. I don't even want any red."

Jake's eyes widen the way only his can. "I didn't even know Vamps could get colds. Are you going to be okay? Do I need to call someone? PB, maybe?"

I think about it for a second. If I ask Bonnie, she'll ditch whatever she's working on within a heartbeat. But do I really want to do that? Have Bonnie waiting on me hand and foot as I sweat and moan and generally look gross? No one wants an ex to see them that way. "I don't know…"

"Lemme put it this way. You need some TLC. I know I'm no good at it, and Finn's busy trying to learn the ukulele. Unless you want a piece of candy to help you out, the only other person is PB."

I hate Jake's matter-of-fact tone, but he's totally right. "I mean, I guess. But only if she wants to."

"Fantastmic. I'll call her right now."

He flips open his hologram communicator to call Bonnibel. She answers on the second ring. "Yellow?"

"No, it's Jake. Hey, I'm here with Marcy who's got a bad case of the… what was it?"

"Vampire cold." I snap at him, exasperatedly. "How could you forget that?"

"Dogs don't get colds. Anyways, Marcy's got a vampire cold and she's-"

"-WHAT?" PB screams through the phone static. "Don't worry I will be RIGHT THERE." Before she immediately ends the call. Jake just stares at me.

"I guess it's a big deal."

"Yeah, no chizz. Vampires used to die from this all the time. It's just about the only way Vamps can die except for being murdered. Makes you see stuff."

My head aches, and all the talk is hurting me. Jake pats my forehead. "Don't stress yourself Marce. I'm gonna stay here until PB shows up. Do you need anything? Milk? Cookies?"

I laugh nonsensically. I imagine eating Crunchy in two bites. "No, nothing like that."

"A movie? I can get BMO to come over and play you something."

"Nah." I protest, stifling a yawn. "Don't sweat it, Jake. I wouldn't be able to look at the screen anyways. I'm pretty tired…"

"Alright. I'm gonna chill in the corner then, if that's alright."

"Totally. I appreciate the company."

I drift off into a cold, clammy sleep. My dreams are weird and fragmented, covering all sorts of topics including my past and deepest fears. Simon appears in a few, my father shows up, and so does Bonnie.

In one of the last dreams before I wake up, I'm walking with Bonnie through a pretty field of wild flowers. She has her hair in a braided bun and she's holding a picnic basket full of red things. Raspberries, apples, paint samples… we're laughing and having a good time the way we used to. She's sparklingly perfect and so, so pink. It takes me a long time to realize what's wrong with the pretty, idyllic scene… I've never strolled in the sun before. Just as the crashing realization descends, my perception of space and time changes too. I must be dreaming. Nothing this perfect can be real.

"Marceline?" She ask in a soft voice. "Are you awake?"

Suddenly I am, sitting up fully in my sweaty bed full of sweaty me and staring into the bubble gum filled eyes of my best friend. She has rings around the bottom like she hasn't slept in a crazy long time. It's still dark out, which I'm grateful for.

"Hey there Bonnie." I yawn. "You look sleepy."

"You look bad, Marceline. Why didn't you call me when this started?" She snaps, grabbing my wrist to feel for my pulse. She checks my throat, my lymph nodes, and even my nose. "This is not a good case, Marce."

"I've always gotten better before."

"Yeah, when you've taken medicine early and gotten lots of rest. But ever since we turned you human and back I've been afraid for the day that you get a vampire disease. I don't think you'll have the strength to fight this off by yourself anymore."

What dumb news. I stare at her, tears welling up in my eyes. I can't imagine dying right now without telling her how I feel. That would be the literal worst thing to ever happen ever.

"No, no… Marce, don't cry… Don't… ugh, you know I can't handle you when you get emotionally vulnerable. It's unnatural. Don't… oh, you're dripping snot on everything."

"Sorry." I mumble through the mess. "I don't mean to be so…"

"You're okay." She smiles, sitting closer to me. "Just relax. I need to be a bit more patient with you too. It's not your fault you got sick."

But it IS my fault. I felt a tickle in my throat three days ago, which normally never happens to me. I thought it was weird, but I'm not, like, infallible so I went with it. When I could barely move I called Finn and Jake. I never would have called Bonnie if Jake hadn't done it first. I'm far too prideful.

"What you need is the sticky sap of the glomp-tree. I bet my life on it." Bonnie finally murmurs, throwing the tongue depressor in my trash. "But I haven't seen a glomp-tree in five hundred years."

"What do we do if they're extinct?"

She rubs her face with one hand and sucks in breath. "I guess I'd have to come up with something similar artificially. But I need some spit."

"What?"

"To synthesize a new cure, I need some of your vampire cold. So, spit." She places a tiny cup under my mouth.

I do it, grimacing all the while. "I know you can't get my sickness, but I don't really want you touching it."

"I'm a scientist, Marceline. I'm not going to judge you for your microbes."

"But-"

She sticks one pink finger in my face. "No. Chill. I'm going to do some research in your kitchen, okay? When you wake up, you can come find me." She kisses my forehead lightly, sending my heart into a panic beat and my cheeks into furnaces. "You're warm."

"Probably just a fever." I grumble, trying not to let her see how easily I blush.

"Hm. Maybe."

She takes the cup with her as she leaves, closing the door ever so slightly behind her. I sigh once I'm alone, headachey from talking and overwhelmed from her sticky-sweet presence. There's so much I want to tell her that I can't.

"If only you knew…" I whisper aloud to my dark room.

"If only I knew WHAT?" Jake answers sleepily from his designated corner. "How totally in love you are with PB? Psh. I've known the whole time."

"JAKE?!" I scream-hiss, flying into the air. I totally forgot about him. His words take way too long to permeate my skull. "Wait, what do you mean you've known the whole time?"

"Well, less of a know and more of a suspicion. Did you guys date at one point?"

My whole face grimaces. "How did you know?"

"Body language and schizz. You've known each other a long time… emotions and stuff… she kissed your face… which was weird, but not the normal sort. It was like, familiar, but not familial. Ergo… relationship."

"Yeah...that's about right." I admit in a tiny voice. "We had a falling out a couple hundred years ago after she got REALLY into populating the candy kingdom. I was moving around all the time to avoid simon and it just strained our relationship. We were together three years."

Jake gasps femininely. "Three years? That's an insanely long time."

"Not to her. Not to me. We aren't like you, aging slowly and living slowly. Three years was like three months. It passed so quickly together, and then we were back at each other's throats. She chose her projects and government over me."

There's comfortable silence between us as Jake… I dunno… digests my reality. After an eternity he mumbles, "Glob."

"That's all you have to say?"

"I don't know what else I COULD say. You're telling me you've been in love with her since y'all broke up?"

"Well, no. I hated her for awhile. She blew me off!" I add when Jake's expression becomes cross. "And it wasn't like our relationship meant anything to her- it wasn't even built on mutual trust. I think we started dating because she was trying to get a feel on me as a person- whether or not I was a threat to her new populace. And when I wasn't, when she realized she could trust me, we just kind of fell for each other. Or at least, that's how it was for me."

Jake grins. "This is so awesome. I can't wait to tell Finn-"

"-AW HECK NO." I shriek, shooting upwards. "DON'T YOU DARE TELL HIM ANYTHING ABOUT THIS, DO YOU HEAR ME?"

I know my true form has encompassed my body from Jake's puppy-like shrieks. "BUT FINN IS MY BEST BRO. BEST BROS DON'T KEEP SECRETS."

"IF BEST BRO DOESN'T WANT BOTH HIMSELF AND HIS BEST BRO TO LOSE ALL FOUR OF THEIR APPENDAGES, BEST BRO BETTER KEEP IT TO HIMSELF."

"MARCELINE!"

I spin to see Bonnie holding a microscope in the doorway of my bedroom. She's confused as heck and more than a little annoyed. "What are you- is that Jake?"

Jake's pretending to be a lamp in my corner. "Oh hey PB, how's it hanging?" he chirps.

"It was fine before I heard crashing and yelling. Marcy, why are you a bat?"

I shrug. There's literally nothing else I can think of doing. I don't want to tell her what we were fighting about, and I certainly don't want Jake to either.

"Ohhh….kay. Well, you shook the downstairs with your knocking and I lost my sample. So if you're done fighting, spit in this cup and separate so I can focus. Also, Marceline, you should be in bed already. Vampire colds only get worse with activity."

I nod gruffly and point Jake towards the exit in the nicest way possible. The last thing I want to do is upset him to the point where he tells Bonnie I like her. It would destroy the foundation of the super normal thing we have going on. We don't talk about the old days much. One or both parties end up crying.

"Jake," I whisper once I'm back to my regular vampy self, "Please don't say anything. If you do anything for me ever, let it be this."

He pats me kindly. "Don't worry kid. I won't say a word."

"Thank yo-"

"-For ten million pancakes."

My eyes narrow. "What?"

"You heard me. And they have to be good pancakes or no go. From scratch, with real stuff. Eggs from chicken butts. Wheat from the dirt."

"How about I just spare your life and we call it even?"

"Killing me won't stop PB from knowing you loooooove her."

Bonnibel is only a few paces away, not looking at us but still there. I shove my hand into Jake's face as fast and hard as I can. "Don't. You. Dare."

"Why? Why won't you tell her?"

"We're at different points in our lives!" I hiss. "I'm an adult now, she's an adult now… I'm a slow riding bassist. She's a fast paced princess. We're just not meant to be."

"But!"

"Trust me, I have thought about this a lot. And I'm right to keep my feelings a secret. Please don't mess this up for me."

He stews for a moment. "Oh, alright. But I still want to tell Finn."

"NO."

"Finn won't tell no one nothing and you know it." Jake pleads. "This is too much to keep inside."

"Tell me about it." I snicker. "She's my best friend."

"Are you guys still talking?!" Bonnie interjects sternly, ripping us out of our bonding moment. "We don't have all right. C'mon Jake."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't harass me." He grumbles, waving off her hand. "I'm going, I'm going."

I want him to come back tomorrow. I hope he comes back tomorrow. The last few minutes have been liberating. I didn't realize how much I was keeping in until it came out. "Jake-"

"Yeah?"

"...Can you bring Finn by tomorrow?"

He grins at me. Grabs my hand. Pulls me close to him. Sticks his face right in my ear. "Only if I can tell him."

I don't get to answer before Bonnie picks up my dog friend and hoists him over her shoulder like a tree branch. "Alrighty you puppy, I'm done with your defiance. Leave my patient alone."

"Dohhhhh!" Jake whines. "She talked to me first!"

Bubblegum closes the door behind her and Jake, leaving me alone, shrouded in darkness. The same place I was yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that.

Alone forever.

As I turn to crawl back into bed, I notice a sparkling light to the left of my pillow. I flash my eyes out the window- there's no sunlight yet, and the moon is pointing at the other half of my house. So where's this weird, glimmery light coming from? I stare at the sparkle intently, totally spooked.

As I'm staring, it begins to open. A tiny little hole, dark in the middle and glittery on the outside, spreading wider and wider until it's big enough to fit a person in it. Through the expanse I can smell sulfur.

"Marceline." A voice whispers, slow, mocking. "Maaaaaarceline."

It echoes through the hole, so much so that it sounds like a choir of similar voices. They remind me of someone I know, but I can't lay a finger on it. What could it be?

"Hello?" I ask the void. "New number, who's this?"

"How do you nooooot knoooooow? Who elssssse calls you through a wooooormhole?"

Oh! All of a sudden it hits me like fight club. "Dad! Oh my glob, hey!"

"Marcelineeeeee. I heard you're not welllllllll." He enunciates, the echoes from the wormhole not helping our cruddy connection.

"Yeah, I mean, I got a vampire cold. Nothing I can't handle though."

"Do yooooou havveeee glomp-tree saaaaap?"

"Well, we're actually pretty sure that Glomp-tree's are extinct."

"'Sssss not true. I have the lasssssssst onnneeee."

I perk up. What? "Did you just say you have the last glomp-tree?"

"I doooooo. But to recieve its saaaaap, you must do meeeee a favvvvorrrr."

Great. Awesome. Of course dad wants a favor before he'll save my life. He _is_ the lord of darkness after all. "What, dad?"

"Yooooou mussst be my successsssssor."

"What?" I hiss. "No, we've already discussed this."

"Maaaaarceline. You mussssst. I need you to signnnnnn the documents tomorrowwwww. There is nooooo time leffffft. You've had yooooour funnnnnn."

"But I-"

"You have-" there's breakage in the connection, "-responsibility to meeeee, to the people of the niiiightttttosphere, to mama…"

The mention of my mom makes me angrier than anything he could have threatened me with. "No, you sleazeball. I'm not doing it. I'm staying here, top side."

"YOU WILL GOOOOO WHERE YOU ARE ASSSSKKKED OR YOU WILL GO NOOOOWHERE AT ALLLLLL."

I'm furious. Shapeshifting into a gorilla, I take a fighting stance at the wormhole. "GO AHEAD AND TRY, FATHER DEAREST.

A pale, luminous hand shoots through the wormhole and lashes at the air. When it finds nothing, it becomes bigger and takes up more room as it fumbles to find me. I squeeze into my closet and close the door tightly. There's no way I'm going with him. Not a single way.

"Marceline." My father pleads through his sparkly portal, voice suddenly clearer. "Please. I am no longer fit to rule the Nightosphere. I would never ask if it weren't an absolute necessity."

My vision is interrupted by the doors in the way, but I can peak out the slots enough to see his face appear in the far, far back of the wormhole. His eyes are twice their normal size and pleading. "Marcy, if you ever do anything for me…"

"You're asking me to give up my entire life."

"For power and glory!"

"I'm already queen of the vampires!" I bite back. "I have all the power and glory I want. I'd rather try out Bonnie's cures than take your place."

He stares at me with sadness in his eyes. "You're doing your old man a disservice."

"Well… with how you've been treating me lately, that might be all you deserve. Blackmailing your daughter… for shame."

I cross my arms over my chest and heave a sigh. My headache is now a migraine, and all the commotion brings stars to my eyes. "Oh."

As I begin to fall, i'm suddenly aware that my father and I aren't alone. There's a third party, doing something with a laser. A glowy green light covers my dad, paralyzing him instantly. Bubblegum turns around to open the closet door with her free hand. "I thought Jake came back." She gasps, cheeks red from exertion. "When I realized it was your dad I started running, but I tripped on the edge of my night gown and fell down the stairs. So I'm sorry that I wasn't here sooner."

I can't help but giggle a bit, not just because my Dad's face is frozen in a really stupid way, but because Bonnie came to my rescue twice in one night. I smile dorkily at her, because what else do you do when you have a migraine and dad issues and a vampire cold at the same time that you're realizing you're in total head over heels love with your best friend?

She gives me a sweet, tight hug. "I heard everything with your dad. I didn't mean to listen in, but I was falling and there was nothing else to do… but I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Why don't you want to rule the Nightosphere? It seems like a win-win."

I stare at her. The immediate and true answer is that I love being a part of the outside world, but that's not even it. It's all my relationships. It's Finn and Jake. It's Bubblegum. It's LSP and the candy folks. Even Simon, weird old man that he is, has a place in my heart that only he can fill. Ever since I started letting people in, I've been terrified that I would lose them. That they would pull a PB and disappear on me. My biggest fear is a rerun of the same thing we went through already.

"I… I just don't want some old man to make my decisions for me." I lie in my angstiest, nasaliest voice. "I'm not some little kid who's going to be shepherded into the family business."

"Oh." She murmurs, looking away. "I thought, maybe…"

"What?"

"It's stupid."

"Tell me." I beg. "Please."

"I just thought that you were invested in your life here. That you loved being here… with us… with me… and you didn't want to leave. But your reasons are… are…"

Without any warning, perfect Bonnibel Bubblegum sobs into my arms. It happens so fast that I can't figure out why it's happening at all. Did i hurt her? "Bonnie, Bonnie shush…"

"Your r-reasons are good too! I'm H-h-happy…"

I guide her over to my bed and move her hair off her shoulder. "Hey, shush there. Don't cry, Bonnie. Trust me, I love being here for more than just the freedom. I was just trying to stay aloof and desensitized as usual."

She narrows her sparkly, tear-covered eyes. "You turd."

"Hey! I didn't realize that keeping my response short and sweet would make you cry!"

She shakes her pretty pink head. For the first time all evening I've realized she's crown-less. "Hey, where's your bling?"

She pats her head. "Oh." She groans, staring at me in horror. "Oh, oh no."

"Oh no what?"

"My crown. It's missing. My crown is missing." She pats her head again in disbelief. "Oh CRABOHCRABOHCRAB."

"Don't flip your lid just yet sweets. Did you even bring it with you here?"

"Of course! I sleep with it! I live in it! Sometimes I shower with it!"

"That's super weird, Bon. Don't tell people that."

"It's my crown!" She screetches, feeling around. "Did I lose it…"

Suddenly the green light that's been keeping my father paralyzed flickers off. He immediately crawls fully into the mouth of the wormhole and holds up something dimly gold and glittery. "I think you're looking for this?"

Bubblegum leaps towards him and her precious crown so fast that I don't even notice her going into a nosedive. Without warning I see her pretty pink shoe disappear through the mouth of the portal, along with the rest of her and the crown. I screech at my father who has not yet disappeared.

"If you want this one back- and i'm sure you do- you have no choice but to visit the nightosphere in the next three days. If I have not seen you by noon on the third day, I will slaughter LITERALLY everyone you know and love."

I stare at him with my mouth parted. "Even for you… that's pretty cold, man."

"But effective, since you have no choice now. These are the fun decisions you get to make as ruler of the nightosphere! I'm so excited for you to get acclimated."

"You mean you're excited about your upcoming vacation."

"Ah, tomato potahto."

I'm terrified for PB, but I don't want to tell my father that. I need her to pretend to be a badass. Wimps DON'T survive the underworld.

"Fine. I'm coming for you old man. But you're not going to like it when I show up. You stole my best girl, and for that you're going to die."

Dad smiles warmly. "I thought you two seemed pretty close. Oh well, all the more reason to find me in the nightosphere."

And with all the finality I can expect of a deadbeat dad, he slams the portal shut.

"AUUGUGGH!" I scream at the early morning sky. "WHYWHYWHYWHY."

My floor is covered in sticky bits from bubblegum's shoes, and a little bit of my spit. My heart aches to think that, moments before she was taken, she cried over me. And now i've failed her.

No. Out loud I announce, "I WILL FIND YOU, PB, AND WHEN I DO I WILL ADMIT HOW I FEEL."

Far outside my house, I can hear someone whooping. "Yeah, GO GIRL! ADMIT THOSE FEELINGS!"

I stick my head outside. In the forest on the other side of my swamp, Finn waves excitedly while Jake tries to shut him up. "No bro, she's not supposed to know you know!"

"But I'm just so happy, man. After this whole time, I finally know why PB wasn't into…aughghh!" He shrieks when I appear right next to him in my jammies. "Marceline!"

"I thought I was crystal clear, Jake."

Jake shakes. "Uh, you never said anything after I asked to tell him the last time. So I did."

"What about all the other times I told you not to?"

"They became irrelevant as soon as I asked this time."

Guh. I pick Jake up by his neck fat. "I swear, if there was a lick of red on you or in you, I'd have sucked you dry in anger by now."

"Oh Marce, i'm super grateful you haven't yet. It's one of my favorite things about you. You're so… you know… forgiving."

"I'm really not. And in light of this fault, I'm going to blackmail you turds into helping me rescue Bonnie."

"No blackmail needed, Marcy." Finn announces, holding up his sword with one good hand. "We're Princess Bubblegum's friends. We're gonna get her crown, her, and you back safely or my name isn't Finn Mertens."

I can't help a small smile from leaking out the side of my mouth. "Well, I could use the company. I'm not exactly feeling the best. Probably need someone to keep my strength up. Feed me red, guide me…"

"If we're doing all that stuff, what are you going to be doing?"

"I dunno. Supporting you guys or whatever. I just want PB back, and three is better than two. Plus, my dad had glomp-tree sap somewhere."

We stand in silence for a moment.

Jake coughs. "So. Anyone got any bug juice?"

 **Thanks for the read! Will the gang get P-Bubs back? Will Marcy admit she's got a crush? Will Daddy Abadeer get the pole out from his butt? Stay tuned~!**

 **(I do not, nor will I ever, own Adventure Time.)**


	2. Chapter 2

"Just in case we're not all clear, it's bug MILK." Finn sassily enunciates. "Bug juice is the stuff you drink at camp."

"When have you ever been to camp?" I ask, drawing a happy face in the sand.

He shrugs. "There are pictures. Human kids would learn to swim and junk."

"There were classes on how to avoid the forest monsters..." Jake adds.

"And every night they would play a tune… or was that the morning?"

While we're stopped next to the river, the boys dive into our walking rations. "Don't touch my handkerchief. Or my lipstick!" I shout a bit more aggressively than I intend. Finn giggles like a fifteen year old boy does.

"What's so funny?"

"You think we want to eat your lipstick? Marcy, you are a treat. We ain't makeup eaters, silly giiiiiiiirl."

"I know that." I agree, running a dirty hand through my short hair. "But you make mistakes, so I'm forewarning you." With furious, unwavering seriousness I whisper, "if you dare- listen to me, listen here Finn- if you DARE eat either of my things, _I will suck out your soul and fuel myself with your positivity._ Do you get me, lil boy?"

We stare at one another in miserably boring silence before Finn concedes. "Yeah… that sounds about fair. Remember that time I lost your erasers?"

Jake screeches from his sitting rock. "DUDE THAT'S RIGHT. We are NOT having a repeat."

"'I wasn't… thaaaaat bad."

I've never seen Jake as pale as he becomes. Blanched. Flour-like. Snowman quality. He reminds me of my fangs after a dentist trip. White to the point of distaste. Faintly blue, even. "Not that bad?" He croaks. "Not that BAD?"

"Not that I remember."

"You… you tried to EAT ME!"

"Psh? What?" I don't remember any of that. Jake would taste super gross.

Finn clears his throat. "Trust us Marce, we're not planning on losing anything of yours again."

"Better not. I'm already pretty under the weather. And I hate this hat." I point at the giant monstrosity taking up valuable headspace. "This is sort of the opposite of what I wanted to do today."

"Did you have plans?" Finn asks softly.

"Just sleeping off this death-cold. Something I can't do on the road."

Face painted in the dirt, bug milk splashed on, I turn to Finn for the magic words.

" _Maloso vobiscum et cum spiritum._ " He drops with no hesitation. It's magical- one second we're sitting on rocks next to a river, the next we're looking down into the nightosphere itself. Where my grump of a father waits for me.

Where Bubblegum waits for me.

"What's the hold up? C'mon Marce." Jake extends a golden paw. "You're spacing at a super inconvenient time."

He's right. There's no time to be slow and thoughtful- it's time for action. Butt kicking action. Save the princess, beat the level action. I am Marceline, Assassin, Vampire Queen, and overarching badass. I take no sick days.

Oh, but I so desperately want to.

I don't get the chance to respond before a foot finds the small of my back and I fly forward, headfirst towards a lake of fire. Real fire. Just the heat of it rising singes my skin as I fall, seemingly to my doom.

"YOOOOOU JEEEEERRRRKKKSS!" Involuntary words pour out of my mouth as panic and adrenaline meet my biggest fear. Death by fire… the literal worst way to go for a vamp.

At the last second, something kicks me out of the way. I land on my side, banged as heck but alive. If my hair were any longer than the length it's at, I would probably be bald or almost bald by now. I glance up to see Jake rubbing his forehead.

"Yo. Did you knock me out of the way?" I ask, just a bit shocked. I'm not even sure Jake likes me all that much, so for him to save my life is a bit extra.

"I couldn't let you be barbequed. Roasted Vamp doesn't sound good."

"Or smell good!" Finn intercedes. "And before you ask, I do know from experience. I live a vibrant life outside of the two of you. Full of secrets and stuff. Inside jokes with myself."

We both pretend like we haven't heard Finn go full weirdo as we set off into the eternal night.

I really haven't spent much time here. Since I lived my primary years with my mom and the rest with simon or by myself, my father has been an enigma. There have been a couple of vacations and junk, but for the most part we've stayed pretty separate. He has his life, fulfilling in its own way, and I have mine. I can't even tell you how much I hate the feeling of the Nightosphere. Not even the heat or the smell. The feeling. It reminds me of being helpless. Walking through, looking at creatures, just living and breathing hurts. It's not physical, it's emotional. I feel sick to my stomach, weaker than I've ever been.

"Guhhhh…" I can't help moaning aloud. "Oh boy. Oh glob."

"Marce? Why do you look… mint?"

I unleash a wave of red in an open fire pit. My vomit hisses as soon as it touches the flames and dissolves instantly.

"Ugh. That's why." I mutter, seconds before vomming a bit more. "Oh, kill me."

Jake helps me get my backpack off and removes the bulky hat, while Finn looks through his pack for something. Water I assume. Together they lay me down. Even though we're deep in the bowels of the earth, I can't help but shiver. Vomming, shivering, crying… it's a circle, I'll tell you.

"Jeez Marceline, this is the most emotional I've ever seen you." Finn whispers after a few minutes of haunting stillness. "You must really be missing PB."

To be honest, I've barely thought about her since the start of the mission. It's not because I don't care about her, of course, but more that she can totally take care of herself. She knows what she's doing, she knows where she's going. Me on the other hand… I'm super unsure of myself.

"Hey. Jake." I whisper to my friend. "I have to tell you something."

Jake sighs, shoves the sandwich he's been eating back in the baggie, places the baggie over his ice pack in his lunch pail and closes the lunch pail. Then, with the single-most thematic jump I've ever personally seen, he crashes next to me. "Is this another one of those 'Don't tell Finn' stories? Because i'm not great at those."

"Nah. This is a bit different."

He scoots closer to give me his undivided attention.

"So… you know my dad?"

"In name AND face. He's okay when he's not being a turd. Why, what's wrong?"

"He wants me to take over for him. Here."

Jake blanches again. It's a running motif at this point. "When?!"

"Tomorrow. The next day at the latest. He kidnapped Bonnie so I'd come. And now I'm basically walking into my own worst nightmare."

I know it was a good choice to tell Jake because I immediately feel a bit of relief. Like I'm covered in weights, and someone just took a big one off. He blankly stares at me, as if he doesn't quite get what's happening.

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

"Or the next day?"

"Or the next day. Jake, are you okay?"

"I'm…" He struggles to find words. "I don't really know yet. I'm kind scared for what this is going to do to everyone else."

Huh? I cross my arms over my chest. "What do you mean?"

"Well…" Jake rubs his chin. "Bubblegum will be distraught to no longer have you in the kingdom. LSP will be sad. BMO… Well, BMO is a big kid. BMO will probably survive. But what about Ice-King? Or Gunther? And don't even get me started on Finn. Finn thinks you're the coolest dude in all of Ooo."

I shrug, because there's nothing to be said. "It's either I sign the documents or you dudes get slaughtered."

As the word "slaughtered" leaves my lips, Finn shows up. "Whoa bros, gloomy talk. What's up?"

I don't really want to tell Finn anything major. I know the kid CAN handle it- he honestly could probably handle anything. But he shouldn't have to. I know full well how much it sucks to be given a lot of responsibility right off the bat. I remember how burdensome it was.

"Hey. We're just grumping about my dad. Stealing things. Kidnapping princesses. He's a real tooter." I lie apathetically.

"Yeah." Jake echoes just as lethargically. Now I have to keep a tally of all the times Jake lies for me and make him pancakes for every single one. What a struggle. "Yeah, we were just roasting Abadeer."

"No pun intended." Finn laughs. "You know, 'cause he's King of the Nightosphere?"

My fake laugh comes out like a staccatoed cough. "I, uh, got it."

"Good one, buddy."

Finn glances back from me to Jake to me, thoroughly unconvinced. "Hmm."

"What?"

"I dunno." he shrugs. "It just seems as though you two are hiding something from me."

"What?" I gasp.

Jake gasps even higher. "For shame that you would accuse a brother!"

"I'm not accusing. I'm just letting you know that you seeeeem suspicious. You two aren't secret dating, right?"

At the same time, Jake and I begin to sputter replies.

"I have kids-"

"-You KNOW I like her-"

"-Lady and I-"

"-That would be so wrong!"

"-Not even sure I'd live-"

"-And isn't it a little gross if you really think about it?"

Finn taps his foot without humor. "Not super convinced either way."

Jake wraps one spaghetti-like appendage around Finn. "Listen buddy. Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"Only a thousand times."

"Well, trust me this time. Everything is going to work out okay, as long as we all play our parts right."

"Parts?"

I nod gravely. Distraction and redirection. "Espionage my little one. We're sneaking in."

"Sneaking? But… it's your dad." Finn whispers as we get our bags back on. We've spent too much time sitting. Way too much time. "I thought you guys were on okay terms."

"We were… but… ugh. Promise to react as calmly as you can."

"To what?"

I grab his tiny, chubby cheeks and point his face right at mine. "My dad is forcing me to take over for him."

He doesn't say anything for a moment. "What?"

"I'm going to rule the Nightosphere."

"Here?"

"Here." I sigh. "I didn't really want to tell you… but he kidnapped Bubblegum so I'd have to come looking for him."

"So he doesn't have your cure?"

"Oh, he does. He does, he has all the things."

"So this is your last mission?"

Finn's eyes are already pretty big, but tears always make them look five time bigger. I don't want to say yes, but it's probably the truth. "I think so."

"Dang."

"Yep."

"So… we're gonna have to leave you behind?"

I don't want to think about it. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. First Princess saving. And crown saving I guess."

"Then your glomp-tree sap."

"And then the final showdown!" Jake cries out. "Daddy-daughter destruction! Only one can come out on top!"

Finn continues to stare at me seriously. "But why does he want you now of all times? You've been around a while."

"Well… He's been waiting for me to mature I guess. And now that I'm as mature as I'm ever going to be, I'm sure it's just-"

I'm cut off by a wall of pungent orange smoke. It's impossible to see through, with the same grittiness as sand. I throw my arms up to protect my eyes, suddenly wishing I hadn't put away my hat. Any blocker, even an ugly one, would help. The wall roars with motion, difficult to hear through. I feel as though all my senses have been cut off at once. "Guys?!"

"MARCYYYYY!"

Finn's voice. I can hear him moving as he stretches my name. "FINN!"

"MARCY LOOK OUT!"

Before I can, something cold hits my temple. My eyes flutter open once as I slump to the windblown ground.

And then nothing.

XXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ooooooooh."

Bump bump.

"OOOOh, this is not looking good." A pretty, feminine voice mutters from alongside me. "She should be awake."

Shake shake. A finger on my wrist, my neck, my eyelids. I want to open my eyes, but something about the unidentifiable brightness makes me tired. I don't want to spoil whatever dream-like perfection I've come up with.

"She looks better, right?" Finn whispers optimistically. "Less green."

"Kind of. But her color doesn't matter at this point. If she doesn't get the sticky glomp-tree sap… well, she won't be able to take over the nightosphere anyways."

"Why?"

"'Cause I'll be dead, you turd." I murmur, casually sitting up. "Not that it'll be much different with me here and you guy up there."

Bonnie tackles me. "Oh my glob, you almost gave me a heart attack! I was four seconds away from giving you mouth to mouth."

 _Don't make an innuendo, DON'T MAKE AN INNUENDO._

"Too bad I woke up early." I laugh in spite of myself. The image of Bonnibel sputtering is enough to keep me happy for the first several weeks of work I imagine. She has no idea how to respond.

"You… you…!"

"Don't sweat, Bonnie. I'm sorry for scaring you. Happy to have found you… though how I found you is still a mystery..."

"Ha! I think you mean how _I_ found _you_. And lemme tell you, it was not easy. This place is hard to navigate." She breaks off, blushing as she turns away. There's something so gratifying in seeing her little cheeks glow, knowing I made them that way. I wish I could make her blush forever.

"Marcy? You're quiet."

I'm sad. It comes along suddenly, a sullen depression I expertly sink into. This is it. This is my last adventure. This is the last time I'll be with my little weirdos as they travel into places unknown with only their wit and their guts to guide them. It's the last time I'll see Bubblegum outside of banquets. Royalty do love their banquets. This is my last time to watch her groan and laugh and giggle in that silly way she only does with me.

It aches.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm happy you're here. I'm just… you know. A bit weird from the cold, and whatever knocked me out… and, this is unrelated, but where are we?"

I know it's a prison, but there are different types for different things in the nightosphere. We haven't been separated yet, so this must just be a holding chamber. Bubblegum feels my forehead.

"You don't have a fever… but you MUST if you can't tell we're in a jail cell. There are so many visual clues."

"Bars between the walls." Finn offers. "Ugh… open, public toilet."

"Crappy food." Jake mumbles from the floor.

"We haven't gotten food yet, Jake."

"Well then, the service is crappy. And as a guest, I think that's just as bad."

I giggle. "I'm going to miss this."

My friends turn to me, one at a time, and smile in that, "in case we die" way. The way my mom smiled at me her last day. The way simon used to smile at me before he put on the crown. The way Bonnie did before she turned me human. Somehow, with all the high flying emotions it's this little moment that gets me. I go from Marceline the Vampire Queen to Marceline the girl who doesn't want to live if living means isolation. Finn and Jake hug me from both sides.

"Marce, this isn't the end."

"Yeah, Marcy, We're not just going to let you wallow down here."

Bonnie clears her throat. "And we aren't wallowing either. I've spent the last few hours calculating pressure points on the bars. I think, with the right pressure, I can bust us out."

"Wait, seriously?" I ask, all holds barred. "That's incredible!"

Bonnie blushes from her shoes to her… er… crownless crown. "I mean, it's not that difficult to do. I keep a graphing calculator on me most of the time…"

"You giant nerd. What would we do without you?"

She snickers. "Probably die gruesome deaths."

"True that."

Finn pulls me up. I'm surprised at how tall he is- it seems like just last week he was twelve and trying to get Bonnie to date him. "PB think's we're in the bowels of the castle. So, hopefully, we're right where we need to be to find the tree."

"Hopefully." Bonnie reiterates. "But if we don't, we may have to split up into two teams."

"How will we find each other again?"

Bonnie flips out her pockets. On the inside of each are an old walkie talkie. "For real?" I ask. She nods fervently.

"These babies are covert, and they can be used up to a half-mile apart."

Jake throws one in the air a bit. "Ugh. Heavy."

"Technology _is_ heavy."

"'S why I prefer magic."

Bonnie shakes her magnificent pink head. "You silly kids. Magic isn't real. Why doesn't anyone get that? Magic is just a word. We take all the tech stuff that's just too hard to explain, and put

this stupid blanket term over it so people stay stupid. So people don't ask questions."

"Then why is this so heavy?"

She shrugs. "I didn't make them."

"Well, whatever dark magician did is gonna have to deal with me- HEY." Jake yelps. "Not cool, Bonnibel!"

Bonnie has two tufts of Jake's fur in her grabby mitts. "Hey man, you can either admit I'm right and magic is a big joke, or you can suffer."

"Isn't there a less painful third option?" Jake asks, tearing up a bit. "One where I keep all my fur?"

"No."

"Rats."

"Hey." I cut in. "You were trying to get us out of here at one point, right? Maybe we should get back on that."

Bonnie glares at me, but does as she's asked.

I watch them crowd around each other, fights and squabbles totally forgotten. So adaptable, so easily pacified. Bonnie types in numbers and holds her calculator at weird angles while the boys measure stuff. They work swiftly, almost silently. It's amazing to see what people are good at when they put down their personalities and try. I'm not helping in any way, unless you count my cheering from the floor.

"Yeah! Gooooo Bonnie! Calculate that nonsense!"

"That's reaaaaaally not helping." She snaps, typing even more fervently. "But I guess the support is sweet."

Finn high-fives me. "Proud of you for not going back on your word."

"Agreed. You said you'd support us, and you did." Jake adds.

These boys. I can't help wanting to give them noogies. I can't help the strain of tears beginning in my throat. I can't help wishing I could be there to guide them for the rest of time. I can't help it.

"Marce… you're making that face again." Finn whispers, holding up the red hankie. "You don't have to take it if you don't need it."

But I do. I need it. As soon as I see the hanky, I'm overcome with horrible hacking sobs. Hacking. Bad hacking. Where I start coughing in the middle, then crying harder because my stomach hurts. I can't help it. I'm a mess. My life's a mess. My heart's a mess. And now, now 'cause of my jerkwad of a dad, my career's a mess too."

"Shhh… shhh shush, Marce." Bonnie murmurs in my ear. "You're okay. You're okay."

"I…" I try, but the urge to cry is more important than my urge to speak. My words bubble in my throat. "Hghgggh!"

"Nope, didn't get any of that." She laughs.

"Hggggghhhhhmn!" I sob into her shirt. "You don't get it!"

"Don't get what?"

"This is…" I sit up a little and hiccup. "This is my last one."

"Your last what?"

"My last…day."

"Your last day?" Bonnie asks blankly, louder than I would have liked. "What in the heckins does that mean?"

"I'm… I'm not going to stay here. I can't. I hate it here."

She moves my hair behind my ear, a sensation I'm not expecting. The coolness of her fingers startles me into a shiver. "Marcy?"

I turn to look my friend in the eyes. I can't describe my feelings. They're pretty soupy, so I'm sure you don't want to hear them. But let me tell you… I know what love is now. And I know that it's better to live fast than not at all.

"I'm going to tell my father no. And if he threatens to kill you guys, I'm going to kill myself first."


	3. Chapter 3

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT."

"Bonnie, please stop screaming in my ear."

"WHAAAAAAAAAT."

"Bonnie."

"I CANNOT BELIEVE THE WORDS THAT JUST CAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH."

"Bon-"

"YOU JUST SAID, AND I QUOTE, 'IF MY DAD THREATENS TO KILL YOU GUYS I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF FIRST."

"Yeah." I leave out the fact that I remember what I said, 'cause I'm right there.

"YOU JUST SAID- DID YOU NOT HEAR YOURSELF- YOU JUST SAID YOU'RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF."

By this point, Bonnie is holding both of my shoulders and screaming hysterically in my face. It would be gross if it were literally anyone else, but she smells so sweet that it really doesn't matter. And the fact she's doing it at all is pretty sweet too...even if the act itself is super aggressive and in my face.

"I did. But listen to me, before you get all weird."

The boys are quiet, waiting for my reason. They know I have one because, unlike Bonnibel, they're good at reading people. It's weird, but they're both surprisingly awesome dealing with crisis. In another life, Finn would make a good therapist. Jake shouldn't waste his time trying for a professional career though, 'cause he's waaaaay to sedentary. He would never use the degree and end up managing a knock-off Quiznos. Which would be a good use of his diplomacy skills, but totally possible _without_ all the school chiz.

I sit up straight, eyes focused on my best friend. Her hair is shorter than it was when she jumped in. Did she eat it? Dude, that would be so gross. I don't want to think about that. She's got this stupid, sad, sappy look on her face that makes my heart hurt longingly and boil over with rage at the same time. It's gross and… confusing.

I can't look at her and talk at the same time.

"I'm doing this for me. I've lived a pretty long time." I begin as honestly as I can muster, staring into my lap. "A lot longer than I thought I was going to live, that's for sure. I've met amazing people. I've been happy. I've been sad. But the one thing I've always had is freedom. And I don't think I can live without it."

She's slow to respond. "So...you're...just going to _kill_ yourself? Didn't you think about the other OPTIONS?"

Uh, no. Obviously not. I'm making this junk up as I go.

"What 'other options' are there?" I snap a little too quickly. "Because all I see is a bleak, crappy future that never ends."

She sighs like she's never met a more incompetent person in her life. "You could get married to a prince and become ineligible to take over the throne!"

Ugh, gross. "Hard pass."

"You could go to jail."

"My dad would bust me out and stick me on the throne the same day."

"You could kill him."

"And then the Nightosphere would be left without a leader. Plus, I think you've forgotten that my dad is Deathless. Which means there's no reason for him to give up the throne. I think he's just being lazy."

Bubblegum pouts. "Like father, like daughter."

"What was that?"

"Oh… nothing."

"Hey there, Miss Bubblesforbrains." I enunciate, forcing her attention. "I am not lazy for wanting to stay top side."

"No. you're lazy for wanting to die instead of talking it out or rationalizing. It's lazy, Marce, to let your friends grieve you when you've gone so willingly."

Her eyes sparkle with tears. We've been crying a lot today. Way more than usual. Way, way more than I ever, eeeeever want to cry. I'm Marceline the Vampire Queen. Overarching badass. Master of the dark arts. Or something. I'm cool, okay? And crying isn't cool. It makes me feel four years old. It makes me feel inferior and mortal. Feeling this way, I can't take over the nightosphere even if I want to. I'm not strong enough to control the flow of that much evil. I'm… I'm…

I'm making weird, exaggerated eye contact with Finn.

He clears his crackly, teenage throat with an awkward cough. "Not that it's any of my business, but I just want you to know that I'm Team Living Even If It Means You'll Be An Undead Monster Guardian For All Eternity, and I care about you no matter what you do."

It's so sweet and sudden that I'm honestly taken aback. Jake nods emphatically from his side. "Me too, Marceline. You know what you need, and we're gonna support you no matter what, but I like having you around."

These boys. It's hard to be aloof and unfeeling with such down-to-earth support.

I sigh at myself. Part of me wants to cry some more. So much left to do on earth, so many jams to write, so much red to suck. So many things to try! I know this, I know I'm unfulfilled. But I'm not going to get to fill them either way. Not with death. Not with ruling. Is there anything I can fulfill in the time I have?

Ugh. Yes.

"Hey Bonnie… can I ask you something?"

She cocks her head to the side, waiting for more information. "I mean… you can. I might not respond.""

"It's kind of personal."

"These sort of questions usually are. But it's me, you dumbo. You can ask me anything."

Anything. Anything.

I stare at her blankly not sure exactly what I want to ask, just that I desperately need to. She's so pretty, with her soft face and round eyes. Not for the first time do i wonder if it's weird I have a crush on sentient candy. Like all the times before, I cannot answer. It's soul-searchy and existential when I do. Like, does she have a soul? Do i have a soul? Do the deathless have souls? Are souls necessary? Why do they always taste like cornflakes?

"Why did you like me?"

She stares at me. Bites her lip. Looks around with unfocused, dodgy glances.

I think I've caught her a bit off guard with the sudden subject change. I'm about to shrug it off and recant when she finally utters, head held over her lap, "Oh boy. So it's time for this talk, huh?"

I know exactly what she means. We left quite a few things unsaid, things I don't really want to open up about, cans of worms i would rather remain sealed. But no matter how much I want to shove the past in a box, I can't. Because of feeeeeelings. "I don't know when else we'll get to do this."

Her noisy exhale startles me. How long has she been holding her breath? "I was hoping we wouldn't ever have to. You know, with all the good already said."

"What good?"

"Just… our camaraderie. We're cool now. We're friends."

Friends. That word slashes my soul (if I have one) into tiny, itty bitty shreds. Friends aren't romantic. Friends have no potential to be romantic. Friends are… are in a very specific zone. A separate zone from everyone else, including exes. Jeesh, I'm not even considered an ex anymore?

"Friends, sure, but we're also… you know… exes. And it's not something I can just pretend didn't happen."

I know I'm blushing. Heat radiates from my youthful cheeks, prompting Bonnie to blush back. It reminds me of the early days in our relationship. We were so young then, so soft and impressionable… but that was mostly due to her being Gum. I think we were better at showing our feelings back then. I know I was, at least. She was so easy to be myself with that socializing no longer felt like a chore. I wanted to be around her, laughing at stupid stuff and embracing forever. She was one of the only people I had ever met that GOT it, That understood the heartache of everlasting existence. Her presence always centered me, reminded me of the good and the real. Looking at her now fills a hole I forgot was empty. I'm incredibly home.

"Marce, oh, please don't cry." Bonnie murmurs as her face begins to blur. Oh glob, I'm crying. It's back. It's real. Wet, blobby, nasty tears cascade down my face, onto my one good shirt. Fudge. "Marce, for real, you're being dramatic. C;mon, there's no reason to cry about something that happened _two-hundred years ago_ ya ninny."

" _I'm not a ninny!_ "

"That's something a ninny would whine about!"

A staccatoed chuckle emits from the deepest reaches of my being. Here I am, heart on my sleeve, crying and laughing while talking about my feelings with the girl I used to love and might still. My head's pounding and i'm sweating buckets, but I don't know if it's my cold or my tumultuous emotions. It honestly doesn't matter either way. My throat hurts from all of the above..

After we calm down, she closes her eyes and sits tight. No words are spoken. No words are needed. There's such a catharsis in breaking down personal walls, but my catharsis has left me drained. Tired. Ready to sleep for a thousand years.

To be honest, in all of this I've kind of forgotten my real goal in starting the conversation. Why did she ever like me? What exactly was it back when that piqued her interest? There has to have been something.

The sound of PB scratching is super distracting. I know she's a nervous scratcher, but this is just excessive. _Stritch stritch stritch._ Over and over again.

"Bonnie. Are you… pondering?"

"Huh? Oh, I forgot you asked me a question." _Stritch stritch._ "What was it again?"

"Why did you like me?"

"Guhhhhh." her groan tumbles into this weird hollow vibrato I don't like. "Are we still doing this? Are we hashing this out in case you die? Because I cannot handle that."

"Bon-"

"Your dorky smile, okay?" She says it so fast that I can barely understand it. The immediate sound I got was "YORDORKYSMLEOKEEEEEEY". But I'm not about to make that into dialogue. No sir.

"My what?" I ask politely, trying not to choke.

"Your… your smile."

"You liked… my smile."

"Yeah." Sniff, glare. "Is that weird?"

"Well, no… but it's certainly a stupid reason to _like_ like someone."

She gasps. "Marceline! You take that back!"

It's dumb. It's so dumb. I have so many awesome qualities and the one she likes is the one i hate the most. I hate my smile with all the fires of the nightosphere and the fire kingdom combined. That is to say, a freaking bass ton. It's lopsided and weird. The only cool thing I can do with my mouth is sing. And suck out souls. And eat red. And make hilarious jokes.

But that's it.

"It's my smile, I can depreciate if I want to."

She stares at me, somehow stern and emotionless at the same time. Detatched, yet tied. Or something. I have no idea. I'm just making stuff up as a distraction from the terrible inner turmoil going on that's turning me into a ball of anxiety. Her expression is grim, okay. I don't know why it's grim, and I don't like not knowing.

"Marce…" she begins softly. "I liked you 'cause you were cool. You were this older, physical being with talents and abilities and… it was amazing." Her voice softens as she takes my hand in her sticky pink one. "You could fight anything. And you did it alone. I've really never been completely alone… I came from a cluster being, and when I got out on my own I made the candy creatures. You… you were an enigma. I wanted… I guess I wanted to understand you, make you more sociable. But you would never bend to me"

She refuses to meet my eye.

"When things went downhill, after we drifted… did you ever think of checking up on me?"

I don't even mean to ask the question, it just slips from my lips.

"Yeah, of course I did." she sniffs. "But I thought you were done with me. We lasted much longer than I initially anticipated, so it made sense that you'd disappear. That's the sort of lover you were, the retreater."

"Retreater?" What in the world?

"The person that leaves to preserve their own feelings. It's passive, it's introverted, and it's your signature move with just about everything."

I lightly scoff, miffed that she'd dare say something so… mean. "I'm not passive."

"You're passive as HECK, Marce. You don't have fights, you have shrugging wars."

"I'm just unmotivated."

"You're still willing to pretend everything is fine so you don't have to deal."

She's firey now, her eyes wide and threatening, her cheeks a silky magenta.

Just talking about crying is making me tear up. She pats my back. "Oh, Marcy, no…"

"I'm fine, Bonnibel." I grumble, super not fine, trying to suppress tears that don't know when to quit. "It was yeeeears ago."

"Yeah." she agrees. "So… I'm super confused why we're bringing it up now."

Frack. "If I die tomorrow…"

"You want to go out slightly more tear-plugged then you were before?"

"I don't- tear plugged?- I don't think think tear-plugged is a thing. And I'm not planning on dying, but I want to clear the air of bad juju."

"Bad… juju. There is no bad juju! We cleared the air years ago."

Rats. This is not the direction I want this conversation to flow in. "Look, I'm feeling weird and sentimental, okay? Indulge me."

"Yeah, cool. But I don't want to. I want to free you from work duty so we can go get breakfast."

Ugh, red sounds awesome. Strawberries. So ripe I can almost taste them. "Yeah, I could do food."

Finn audibly sighs from the other side of our cell, knowing well just how past-the-point-of-no-return I am. There's no way to revive this convo without actually spelling out B-O-N-N-I-E -I- L-O-V-E- Y-O-U- A-N-D I-T- H-U-R-T-S- M-Y- H-E-A-R-T which I've thought about but will never actually do because rejection hurts sooooo much worse. Trust me, I've had a few burn outs. Girls. Guys. Folks without Genders. Folks with multiple. Candy creatures. Vampire lovers. All of them were fun and interesting and lovely, but I couldn't tell of any of them exactly how I felt. I'm incapable.

But Bonnie… makes me feel stronger. Not physically. Physically she makes me double over as soon as she's gone because my heart feels three times bigger. It's exhausting, wanting to be intimate with everything inside me, wanting to be close to her, even if it's just a five minute conversation. Literally no one has ever made me feel like that. Literally no one. But when I'm with her, I feel smarter and more alert. Protective.. It's like I have this mode that literally only she knows how to use. How? Why?

Thinking about this junk makes my throat close and my eyes hot. Don't like. Don't like at all. I'm trying to keep the water in my face when I accidentally hold eye contact with Finn. He stares at me, soft, unwavering.

"Whatchu lookin' at, Mertens? You wanna go?" I holler at the boy, swinging my powerless fists.

He shrugs like boys do. "Literally exactly what I want to do, actually. Go home, say hey to BMO, drink some fizzy drank… Maybe catch some Zzz's or fish or something."

Good Glob. "I meant, do you wanna fight me?"

Finn's eyes widen in a very caring way. "Oh! Oh, no. No, you're waaaay too unstable for a fight right now, both physically and emotionally. I didn't want to say it, but you look all sorts of messy."

Messy? I glance in a small puddle of ceiling water at my feet. I look normal to me. Normal and weird colored. With crazy, bloodshot eyes and wrinkled ski- OH GOD. I'm hideous. I look like a grape left in the sun, withered and old. "What the heck?!"

"Vampire cold's doing some damage to your immortal face." Jake replies. "We should probably get back to the task at hand."

OH GOD! I was asking PB all those embarrassing questions while she was staring at an old lady face! Of course she wouldn't be able to recall much!

"Dude… this is really going to hurt my rep." I mumble under my narcissistic breath.

Bonnie smiles sadly from next to me, eyes boring holes in my skull. "You don't have a rep yet in the Nightosphere, silly."

Psh. "Fine. This is really going to hurt my chances of gaining a rep."

"You don't need one. You have friends already, friends who don't care what you _seem_ like. We just care who you are. Old, young, rocking or boring, you're still Marcy."

Finn and Jake get in on the action. "Yeah! You're still just as diabolical and confusing!"

"The only thing different is you… drool now." Jake points at the saliva beading in the corner of my ancient mouth. "Augh, that's not a great look on you."

"DANG IT. WHY NOW? WHY AM I SHOWING MY AGE NOWWWW?" I yodel at the nonexistent skies. "AM I BEING PUNISHED?"

"Who knows at this point." Jake shrugs. "I say roll with it. You can eat as many butterscotch candies as you want now and no one will say a word."

"Still a vamp, Jake. Still a vamp."

"Oh. Yeah."

My stomach growls. "Ugh, I snotted in my hankie. That was supposed to be dinner."

Finn and Jake exhange expressions. "Oh… oh no. Don't tell me you're out of red." My little blonde weirdo cries, suddenly drenched with fear. "Remember last time?"

"Yeah. I could suck Bonnie… but there's nothing to make her whole again."

Bonnie, who's been inspecting the bars of the cage for the last little bit mutters, "Suck me, see what happens." but I pretend not to hear.

"Hey Bon… do you think you could get one or two of the boys out? Enough to find me some red?"

"With what, the power of my mind?"

Well, yeah. "Unless that's too hard for you."

She narrows her eyes. " _I'll show you hard._ "

I'm gonna kinda bullshit the next five minutes because I honestly have no idea what PB does, but somehow she manages to get a section of bars apart enough for Finn to slip out. Jake, on the other hand, just freaking shrinks. How did I forget that butthole could shape-shift? I'm an idiot.

"We'll be back with Red, Marce. Do you need anything else? Magazine? Mints?"

"Pillow? Banana?"

One of our fellow cell-monsters audibly gags at the mention of bananas. When I remember why, I shudder. So gross.

"I'm good. Take a walkie-talkie. Give me ten-minute updates and stay in range."

Jake salutes. "Yes'm, on my _life_."

The boys slip out silently, leaving me and Bonnie alone and full of previously unknown knowledge.

"So. How's the candy kingdom treating you?" I lamely ask.

"Can't complain. No one'd listen if I did." she answers just as lamely. God, we deserve each other. "Actually, who am I kidding? There have been… fires."

"Did you set them?"

"No!" she answers a bit too quickly. "But I can't deny I liked loooooooking at them. Lost quite a few of my really-dumb banana-guards to the glow. Yup, it's been a really crazy month."

We sit in silence. Usually this would be primo flirting time for me, but looking like an old lady does NOT help one in the sexy-times department. I really don't want her to look at me at all. I'm tubby now, and not the cute sort of tubby. It feels like my whole body is strapped with weights and I'm on the verge of being unable to fly. Me without flight is like BMO without batteries. Useless.

"Hey, you know we can slip out of here, right?" Bonnie asks, finger towards the bent bars. I shake my head.

"Nah. This is where Finn and Jake will be heading back to. Besides, the radios only work so far."

We end up playing tic-tac-toe for a bit on the dust-coated cell floor, the same place Bonnie did her math for jerry-riggin the bars. It's so very familiar. Warm.

"Why do you think your dad wants my crown?" Bon asks after sixteen games. "It's not like it'll do anything for him. He's deathless, he's loaded, and gold just isn't his color."

I shrug. "Who knows. Maybe he dresses up as a princess in his spare time."

"You'd be cool with that?"

"I judge no man. Or woman. Or anything in between. I don't care."

"How _sweet_."

Oh no. No, no no.

That voice. That stupid, overbearing, excessively confident voice.

Abadeer.

It's like a movie. One second i'm sitting in the dirt, the next I stand at the ready, my trusty ol stake in my left hand. Dad leers opposite in his signature suit, hands on his hips like a master lecturer. "Now Honey, don't get-"

He doesn't get a chance to finish his statement. I'm already rushing at him. He pulls to the side so that my fist misses him completely. "Wha-?" I ask rhetorically. "Did you just swerve away from me? After what you did?"

He backs up even further. "Look, Marce… I know you think I'm trying to ruin your life and your fun, but I promise it's for a good cause."

"You kidnapped my friend!"

"Your princess friend. Who, by the way, has not always been such a friend. And, this is totally unrelated but… your face… it's…" He makes a wild hand gesture that I can only assume is the fatherly, visual form of "..."

Ugh, just when I had forgotten about it.

"It's old, dad. You can say it's old. That's thanks to the vampire cold."

My dad isn't great at listening to stories, but he IS good at making people feel better. I don't know why such a great talent is wasted on him, but in any case my father knows just what to say to motivate someone or help them see a new perspective. Something in me wants him to say something flattering, anything to help me feel less withered.

He holds out his hand. Resting on his blue palm is a tiny sack. "Here."

"What… is it?"

"Take a guess, sweetie. You know your old man is no trickster."

The way he says it makes it seem like undeniable fact, but he's easily the trickiest dude in the book. How else would he be the ruler of the Nightosphere? I shake my head. "This is too easy."

"Just take the sap, darling. It'll make you feel better, and then we can discuss all the interpersonal issues."

Bonnie grabs my hand before I can respond. "Wait, Marce, something feels wrong." She murmurs so low I can barely hear.

"No duh."

"Marceline, don't worry about them." Dad snaps. "Focus on you. If you want to eventually get out of here, you'll need your strength."

Strength. Yeah right. I take the tiny sack from my father, scrutinizing furiously but not outright demanding any information. He wouldn't poison me on purpose, surely, and he did talk about me getting out. Maybe he's had a change of heart.

"How do I take it?"

"Marcy!" Bonnie hisses. I make a fist behind my back- stop, in our hand-signal language. I have this under control. She needs to trust me.

"Just like any herbal supplement. It's already in capsule form for you."

Now this is super weird. I blankly stare at my father, the man who owns the last Glomp Tree… and who is now making supplement capsules in his spare time. "Are you being real right now?"

"I'm always _real_ , Marceline. Do you not trust me?"

"Of course I don't trust you. You're the epitome of evil!"

I don't expect my dad's low sigh. A hurt sigh. A sad sigh. "Oh, is that how you see me now?"

"That's your job description, dad."

"Yes, for them!" He motions the hallway full of identical cells to ours. The monsters within, most of whom have been listening and whispering among themselves since the beginning, raise their heads to watch us fight through the jail walls. "You're not them, you're my protege. I have never intentionally hurt you, so why do you still hate me like I have?"

I broodily squint at him. "You did stick the amulet on me without my consent."

"Yes, but-"

"You didn't respect my wishes to remain top-side."

"Well, you see-"

"You abandoned me and my mother at the very beginning of the most horrific genocide to have ever happened _ever_."

"Okay, but-"

"And, _AND_ you _ate my fries_."

"Marcy!" He sighs like a benevolent god watching his creation run around haphazardly. "I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes. But I'm not an evil entity, not entirely. I have some good qualities. And one of those qualities must have attached to you, because you also have good qualities. _Liiiiiiike_ helping your father out instead of moping."

"Actually that's one of those things I need to talk to you about." I snap, pretty over it by this point. "I'm not helping you out. I'm taking PB, Finn, and Jake home. I'll just suffer until I die, thank you."

Dad goes to say something before Bonnie interrupts, "Wait, Marce." She grasps my arm in hers and pulls my ear to her mouth. "Listen. I get that you're trying to keep us safe and all that while still asserting your independence but I really, really need my crown. It's sort of the source of all my power."

"You couldn't have told me that earlier?" I hiss back.

"Weeeeell, I thought we were all on board with the 'break out, fight some monsters, grow closer as a team and ultimately defeat your father in a glorious one-on-one showdown', but now stuff is escalating, so no, I'm telling you now." She stands to her full height (which is a lot shorter than you'd think without her head-gear) and faces my father like a queen. "Abadeer, I need my crown and Marcy needs to go home."

Dad sighs for like the third time. "No to the first, heck no to the second."

"Why do you need her so bad?!" Bonnie pleads, walking towards my father like a crazy fan would walk towards the celebrity of their dreams. "Why won't you just let her be?"

I get in on it. "Yeah, Dad! Why won't you just let me be?"

"BECAUSE!" He suddenly, forcefully shouts. "WHY ELSE WOULD I HAVE MADE YOU IF NOT TO TAKE OVER MY LIFE'S WORK?"

My heart stops completely as I digest his words one at a time.

Why. Else. Would. I. Have. Made. You.

Why.

Else.

Would.

I.

Have.

Made.

You.

I stare into Hunson Abadeer's cold, unfeeling eyes with a new sense of morality.

What a _fucking prick_.


End file.
